It is usual to have some levels of anxiety as they prevent us from taking risks that would harm our wellbeing and lives in some way. When it becomes unhelpful to us is when we start to have intrusive thoughts causing lack of concentration at work or while driving or cannot read or watch TV, when we start to fear going outside or meeting others and preferring isolation, panic attacks and other physical symptoms, our dreams are disturbing and our relationships begin to suffer. Isolating the issues and looking at new perspectives can help us to find new solutions to our worries.
Depression, like anxiety, is often seen as an issue in itself as opposed to a natural reaction to feeling unable to solve our problems. We feel stuck, have no where to turn away from the problem(s), the choices we see aren't what we wish for, the world feels a burdensome place, we feel unseen and uncared for and so we isolate ourselves before we are given more of the same. Finding the source and our patterns of responses and thoughts help us to begin to climb back into our lives.
The ultimate loss of important parts of our lives - whether that be a partner or family member, our house or place of work, pets or things of emotional significance. Our response of upset is always in proportion to the importance whoever or whatever it is that we have lost. Our range of feelings in grief is limitless and can return time and again. Sometimes the feeling of being alone or to feel we burden others with our grief can feel the only choices we have. Being with someone who can empathise and to tell it again and again, sharing that loss - can be of great value.
This could include anything that gives rise to the feeling that we are not in control of our lives and what happens to us. That life is spiralling out of control and that we have no control over it. Almost any of the other areas described on this site can be involved and to varying degrees and is often accompanied with fears of "losing my sanity" or "I fear that I may be going mad" and "if anyone found out I feel this way I might end up in psychiatry".
We have hear a great deal around this subject in regard of service men and women returning from war zones or people who have experienced accidents or trauma. The reality of this is that it can happen to anyone - especially people working daily in areas where they are dealing with the trauma of others in their jobs. This would include; nurses, policemen, emergency rescue teams, lawyers and barristers, doctors, therapists and counsellors, anyone who deals with the lives of others It can also affect people who are in receipt of small repeat bad experiences over years - the "drip, drip, drip" effect. These don't have to be accidents, just repeat negative and anxiety provoking life experiences.
We all have something we aren't comfortable with doing or about our sexual selves but when this becomes a problem that affects our relationships, sexuality, gender or feelings of worth then it can become the focus of our concerns and lives. We often feel fear in revealing these things to ourselves let alone to others. By providing a safe and secure place to talk, counselling can help isolate each part of the concerns and emotional pain and provide a place where new solutions and understanding of who we are can be discovered.
Coping with our difficulties may take place in many different ways and have varying effectiveness. Like anxiety and depression, addiction is the result of what is going on for us that we can't cope with and we have to keep doing it so that what we can't cope with stays at a distance and stops hurting us. Sadly, addiction has come to mean something other than the person is trying to cope and creates many bad images when we think of it. By helping people understand what the real issues are, come to terms with them and I help the them find alternative ways of finding solutions.
We aren't taught how to have relationships nor how to respond to others except by learning manners or from watching our parents and friends. Most people wish happiness for themselves but aren't aware of what their happiness goal should contain, or when they may have arrived at that goal. Many people feel that once they have found their life partner, they have achieved their goal - the work is done. That may be the case in Hollywood but for most of us, the work has just begun. Whether in personal or professional lives, the relationships and our part in them is the pivot.
These are the ways we see ourselves - the value we believe we have, our importance and right to take our place in the world. With too little of something we may not reach our true potential, with too much care about how others see us we may not take the place that should be ours. Getting a balance can be a tricky thing to achieve, especially when the voice in our heads tells us otherwise. With support and help our lives can be more fulfilled.
No one wants anger, no one wants to be seen as angry - it's even used as an insult "He/She is such an angry person". And yet we all have anger - it's even useful. We can learn to use it to express our needs, wants, wishes and to achieve the goals we have in life. Learning how to use our emotions as a tool is a helpful way to have a more relaxed and comfortable life.
Any type of abuse can leave us feeling powerless, that we won't be believed, that some kind of harm will come to us or others if we tell what happened. We have been denied choices and our needs and us as a person has been disregarded. Using my training and years of experience in this field, I can help people put their lives back together in safer and stronger ways.
Aspergers is on the autism spectrum and causes the person to have a great deal of discomfort and anxiety in many parts of their lives, there may be few places they feel comfortable often resulting in feelings of isolation. The world is a place that doesn't understand the person with Aspergers and they don't understand it. I help the person to bridge the distance between the two and gain understanding both of themselves and the outside world.
It can be hard to find the time to analyse your methods of working between striving for targets, getting results and representing yourself, team or company to others. The business environment doesn't encourage us to be an individual but it is you, the individual, who is in there doing the job and that can cause internal and external feelings of conflict. When we aren't reaching our expected potentials, earning enough money, or perhaps finding that our business relationships aren't cementing in the way we want in can be difficult to find out why. By investing one hour per week in visiting those areas to discuss what is happening, you can reach new decisions, feel more confident in yourself and your business or career.
I am based at Trinity House in central Halifax.